


Hold me once more

by rapono



Series: To find belonging where it shouldn't be [2]
Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Dwight is touch-starved, Fluff, Gen, Social Anxiety, and he misses his dads, anyways i wrote this cuz i crave fluff, he needs a hug, sequel to Where I don't belong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 12:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19992451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapono/pseuds/rapono
Summary: Even when surrounded by friends, it's possible to feel lonely. He needed someone to lean into, to hold him, to hug him tight, without the fear of shame or rejection. And who better than those who he knew would never reject such a desire. Even if they were the ones that constantly cut him up.tldr; Dwight needs a hug and seeks out his murderous dads to give it to him.





	Hold me once more

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I was done with this storyline but my heart cannot resist big gay murder dads and their anxious cinnamon roll. So I wrote more.
> 
> Edit: I apologize for the multiple spelling errors, I wrote alot of this at 3am and forgot to reread it before posting. I've fixed what I found, but let me know if you spot anymore.

It’d been too long since he’d been stuck on the other side, too long since he’d seen the pair outside of trials. And right now, even though he’d never admit it outloud, Dwight felt the aching desire to be held closely, to be embraced in a hug.

Too many brutal trials, too many hooks through his shoulder and claws through his guts. He so desperately needed some tender love and affection. 

He glanced around the campfire, at those chatting away or just lost in thought. He, he hated himself for it, but he was too ashamed to ask anybody, to confess his emotional desires and needs. It sounded fucked up, preferring the embrace of a killer over his friends, but fuck his damned social anxiety. He couldn’t, too afraid to show them just how weak their “leader” really was.

So, Dwight got up from his seat around the campfire, and headed into the woods. He’d seen the few bear traps scattered about, and knew Evan could wander these woods. He just hoped he could find him.

His train of thought was stopped as a hand was placed on his shoulder. Dwight stopped himself from jumping in reaction, turning his head to see who it was.

Jake, with a concerned look on his face.

“Where are you going Dwight?”

“O-oh you know, just going out for a walk in the woods.”

“Dwight you never do that. You’re usually too afraid of getting caught by a killer out there.”

“I…” 

He didn't know how to respond, knowing Jake spoke the truth. But there was no way he was going to tell him the real reason why.

“I… I just wanted to give it another try, maybe find a nice spot to relax.”

He could tell Jake wasn’t buying it. Doubt was written all over the saboteur’s face, and he looked like he was about to protest.

But he didn't. He didn’t try to call him out or stop him, instead with a sigh, he wished him well.

“Just be careful out there.”

Dwight nodded, glad he wasn't questioned nor stopped, and made his way out into the woods.

It was still absolutely true he was terrified out here. He was venerable, easy prey for any killer that found him. This time however, there was the chance the killer he happened upon was one of the few who wouldn’t hurt him out of trials.

And he was hoping to find one of them.

There was never a guarantee you’d find the place you were looking for out in the entity’s realm. Places shifted and changed, almost never quite staying the same. Still, despite the chaotic nature, there was still a semblance of rhyme and reason, so if his old knowledge of killer realms back from when he and the original four were exploring was still correct, he'd happen upon the Macmillan estate soon.

He just had to hope and pray he was right.

Soon, although a little longer than he'd expected, the shapes of familiar buildings came into view through the fog. He felt relieved, glad he wasn't stuck wandering around the trees, or run into another killer's realm. His old knowledge had proven to still be useful.

As Dwight approached the estate, he saw a large man tinkering with some metal, face seemingly burnt, laced with cracks and scars. As he continued his approach, Dwight recognized his clothes, his statue, and quickly realized who it was.

It was the Trapper, Evan, without his mask.

Evan perked up, turning in the direction he saw movement, quickly catching sight of Dwight. He smiled, placing his tools down as he got up to face the approaching survivor. 

“Hey kiddo.”

Dwight walked up to him, eyes glued to the man’s face, mesmerized by it. Just as he hoped, he really was just a human under a mask.

Evan noticed the mistified look on his face.

“What’s wrong kid, do I got something on my fa-"

Dwight could tell the realization hit him right then and then, a look of shock washing over him, before melting into a smile. Evan laughed, warm and rumbling, amused by the irony of his face.

“Ah right, never seen me without my mask before.”

His gazed remained stuck on his face, unable to look away. Evan seemed unsurprised and unbothered by the attention. 

“So, what brings you here?”

Dwight said nothing, as he ran at Evan, immediately wrapping his arms around him, burrying his face into the bloody overalls. He clung to him tightly, as if the large man would slip through his fingers if he loosened his grasp.

“Ah, I see.”

Thick arms wrapped around him, holding him closely. There was no recoil, no shame, no pity or disgust, just acceptance. And that was all Dwight had wanted. It was warm, snug, safe, everything he needed and desired. 

Thus, his own grip wavered, as the tension in his body relaxed in the comforting embrace. His body began to go limp, exhaustion catching up to him, knees starting to buckle.

Evan didn’t let him fall. Carefully, his legs were lifted off the ground, as the Trapper transitioned from hugging him to carrying him. He held him against his chest like a parent holding their toddler, moving back to sit in his seat.

“Tired?”

Obviously so, he nuzzled into the killer’s overalls, reluctant to open his eyes or get up. Still, he needed to give a response, so with a subtle nod, he gave him a “mm-hm", a yes.

A large hand was now on his back, lying there for a moment, before stroking his backside. 

“Thought so. Take as long as you need.”

It was all that he needed. So with a smile, he allowed himself to succumb to unconsciousness.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
When Dwight awoke, he momentarily forgot where he was, his subconscious saying he would waken to the campfire. Vision still foggy with sleep, his brain slowly registered the warmth around him, and the feeling of flesh and fabric.

The first thing he heard was a snore.

“Wh… wha…?” He yawned, slowly waking up, but now quickly realizing where he was. 

He was seated in Evan's lap, who sat on a worn down couch, snoring every now and then. Dwight glanced around, soon realizing he had no idea where he was.

It was definitely some sort of living space, easily deductible by the chairs and tables and couches and roof over their head. The material was familiar, some of it looking a lot like buildings had seen in the Macmillian estate. It seemed like a home, much better built for living in than the constructs in trials, but still with that touch of madness that was in everything the entity built.

Maybe, this was Evan’s home. Certainly, there was a campfire, but now he knew the killers had a home too, and he couldn’t help but feel a little envious.

His urge to explore however, was subdued by his current comfort. He couldn’t help but snuggle more into Evan, enjoying the heat his body radiated. His eyelids slowly began to grow heavily, as he was tempted to slumber once more.

Sadly, it wasn’t for long, as with a groan, Evan began to wake and move. He stretched out him arms, a long yawn stretching his jaw, before his eyes fluttered open, and made eye contact with him.

“Ah, you’re still here. Entity didn’t drag you into a trial, luckily.” He gave Dwight a tired smile, running his massive fingers through the survivor's hair.

“Yeah… got lucky.” He leaned into the touch, the movement soothing. No one had played with his hair since his accidental visit to the killer campfire, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss the feeling.

Evan continued to smile at him warmly, a mild chuckle rumbling in his chest. Stopping his strokes, he stretched his arms and yawned, not yet getting up and evicting Dwight from his lap.

“You feeling better?”

Oh, right. He’d been so distracted by the comfort and seeing Evan again he'd almost forgotten the reason he'd seeked him out in the first place. And well, judging by the absence of the ache in his chest, Dwight he been cured of his emotional ailment.

“Yeah, I, I feel a lot better. Thank you.” He grinned up at Evan, a smile of gratitude and appreciation on his face. He wanted the big man to know how thankful he was, and not just by his words alone. Evan smiled back.

“Well you should probably head back. Don’t want them worrying about your absence.”

Jake came to mind, and with him, worry.

“Y-yeah, you’re right. Thank you, again.”

He laughed, warm and rumbling, not to mock, but from joy. He was happy, and without the mask, Dwight could now clearly see the joy in his eyes, the way his face wrinkled with happiness. It looked good on him. He didn’t look like the Trapper when he smiled like that.

It filled his heart up with love and warmth.

“It’s no problem. I enjoy your company.”

Dwight slid out of his lap, allowing Evan to get up from his seat. He stretched once more, Dwight just able to hear a few joints popping, rolling his shoulder and neck afterward.

As Dwight turned to leave, he felt one last tug, one more small desire, that made him want to linger around just a little longer. And in his heart he knew, Evan would oblige.

“One more hug for the road?”

Evan turned and beamed at him, his expression giving no hint of any rejection. 

“Of course. Come here.”

Once again, Dwight wrapped his arms around him, Evan doing the same, tucking them both once more into a loving embrace. There was no longer a neediness that had to be filled, just love and satisfaction ready to be received. It felt good.

The embrace was eventually broken, the pair once more left standing before each other. To any outsider, they seemed like father and son.

“Well, I uh, better get going. Bye… dad.”

And with that, he headed down the hall. (Trapper smiled, very happy to be called dad.)

“Wait!” Dwight stopped in his tracks, a wave of worry washing over him. 

“Wrong way kid.”

Oh. Dwight couldn't help but laugh at his own silly mistake, not that he knew the right way in the first place. There was something simply comedic about going the wrong way, and by the smile stretching Evan’s mouth, he seemed to agree.

“Thanks.” 

And now, headed the right way out, Dwight left with his heart filled with happiness, and a smile on his face.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Dwight had been feeling good since he'd sought out Evan, his hope and positivity rejuvenated. Even in the last trial, where he’d been the only one sacrificed, his spirits were still high, as his leadership and positive attitude had invigorated the survivors and led to everyone else getting out.

That was until Jake approached him.

The saboteur had been oddly silent towards him (not that he was very talkative on the first place), shooting him worried and accusatory look occasionally. Something was off, and even though Dwight was now feeling a little on edge, he was hoping that Jake was coming to give him an explanation for his behavior.

“Dwight.” He only said his name, assuring said man had his attention.

“Hey Jake, what’s up?”

“Can I talk to you in private?”

He hesitated. That couldn’t mean something good, but still, there was no reason to object.

“Yeah sure.”

He followed him into the forest, Jake taking him no so deep to likely run into a killer, but far enough away to not be heard by prying ears. Dwight found a rock to sit on, while Jake took to leaning against a tree.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I saw where you went when you went for a walk in the woods.”

Dwight went rigid. His mind and body froze, as if he had bluescreened. Panic filled every inch of his thoughts, unable to put any words on his tongue.

“Are you gonna explain what the hell I saw?”

But he couldn't. The horror of getting caught and the thoughts of possible consequences that could come of it still seized his sanity. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think.

Jake must’ve caught on to his total shutdown, because instead of getting mad at the lack of an answer, his face softened. 

“Look, I’m not mad, I’m just concerned for you. I won’t tell the others unless I deem it absolutely necessary. Just, tell me what’s going on.”

Oh. It wasn't all over, not yet at least. The confirmation was enough to get him to reboot, and try to find a way to explain himself.

Well, he should probably explain from the beginning.

“You, you remember that one match, against the Clown, where I was the only one that escaped, but didn’t I show up at the campfire for a long time?”

Jake took a moment to recollect. “I think so. I remember some people freaking it about it.”

“Yeah, so about that. I didn’t just jump in and then take forever to show up again. I uh, well, I ended up at the killer's campfire.”

Jake seemed to almost double take when he heard that.

“So it does exist?”

“Yeah, I’m still a little surprised myself.” It was strange, the killers each having their own realm to live in, while still having a campfire to sit around. “But uh, I had kinda accidentally informed them I was there, and no matter what I did, I kept ending up back there.”

Jake listened with interest, still waiting for the reason why he’d seeked out a killer recently. Taking a moment to recollect, Dwight took in a deep breath, and continued on the story.

“The Trapper and the Wraith, they, they were nice to me. Protected me from the other killers and didn’t hurt me.” Dwight paused, half expecting to be called a liar, but Jake said no such thing. He was still listening, and he seemed to believe them.

“So uh, after the fog cleared up, the Trapper walked me back to our campfire, and, yeah. That’s what happened.”

He watched the saboteurs face with nervous anticipation, trying to discern what he was thinking before he spoke. Jake seemed slightly bothered, brows burrowing in confusion, but his eyes had a sheen of something empathetic.

“So why did you look for the killer? I can see why you would like them after that, but to try and go back to them?”

Dwight would admit, he did feel ashamed. It was a very vulnerable thing he did, but by the sounds of it, Jake likely saw what he had done. There was no reason to lie, he trusted him.

“During that time at the killer campfire, they acted like fathers to me, holding me close, watching over me. I missed that. And well, I started to feel kind lonely recently and… I, I’m not sure what word to use. Just, to put it simply, I needed a hug.”

He remained silent for a moment, the two simply gazing at each other in silence, as one tried to come up with a response. Jake’s face shifted, a slight bit of sadness reflected in his eyes.

“Dwight, you know you can always ask me for one, right?”

As the realization struck him, Dwight was pierced with a hot blade of shame. Of course he could ask Jake, if not him than Meg or Claudette. Their bond was unbreakable, and despite their varying personalities, there was no doubt the four of them cared about each other deeply, and would be there for another in a heartbeat.

“…I’m sorry.”

And he began to weep.

How could he have doubted them, his friends, the ones that looked out for him, and trusted those who slaughtered him more? He was a terrible friend, and he wasn t worth their love and care.

But, despite what he’d done, he felt arms wrap around him, a hand rubbing his back. Jake held him without repulsion, no judgement nor shame.

“Why are you being so nice to me? I chose a killer over you.”

“Because I know that you struggle with anxiety. And well, after all we've been through, I care about you Dwight. That’s why I asked to speak about this in private, to make sure no one could overhear us, and that you were okay. I was worried you were going to get hurt, you know?”

His crying had died down to some sniffles, eyes still red and cheeks still soaked. “Thank you.”

He finally wrapped his own arms around Jake, completing the embrace.

They stayed there for awhile, in the comforting embrace of good friends. With both eyes closed, neither of them saw the flicker of an approach, until long arms wrapped around the pair.

Their eyes snapped open and looked to their third companion, only to see nothing, but still feel them around them. Jake went rigid, terror filling his body at the realization, but Dwight leaned into the new embrace, smiling.

“Hey Philip.”

At the call of his name, the Wraith let go, Jake scrabbling backwards as Dwight remained where he was. With the familiar bing bong, the tree-like creature burned into reality, his smile now visable.

Lost in the serotonin of finally seeing Philip out of a trial once more, Dwight had almost forgotten about Jake. He turned to the saboteur, who's eyes were glued to the killer before them, looking ready to bolt.

“Jake it's okay, he’s not gonna hurt you.” He wasn't, right? He had neither confirmed nor denied. “Uh, right?”

Philip nodded, staying where he was. If the tall man made a move right now, Jake would likely be tearing through the forest like a deer from a gunshot.

“His, his name is Philip?”

Dwight turned back to Jake, who was slightly wide-eyed and looking perplexed, and the realization hit him. No survivors knew the killers' real names, aside from a very small handful. Well, that would be all but one if Dwight counted himself.

“Yeah, that’s his name.”

“Huh, that’s a pretty non-threatening name. Pretty normal too.”

The Wraith shrugged, with a slight nod as well. Jake visibly relaxed, allowing himself to get a little closer. Dwight felt himself relaxing too, not even realizing he was tense until the tension left the air.

Still, he had to wonder why he was lurking so close to the camp.

“Why are you out here Philip?”

He pointed at Jake and made a gesture.

“Ev… an… ssssaw… him.”

“Oh.” That wasn't good.

Jake was seeming unnerved by the statement, but also a confused. “Evan?”

“The Trapper.”

 _“Oh.”_ The color drained from Jake's face.

It was known that Evan loathed Jake with a passion. After all, he did sabotage and break his traps, the nastiest thing that a survivor could do to the Trapper. So it was no wonder that had Evan come out here instead, Jake would've been torn limb from limb.

Well maybe not _that_ extreme. Hopefully. But regardless, the results wouldn’t be pretty.

“Luuu….ky I c…ame. He wou…uuld not beee ni…ice.”

“Y-yeah, very lucky…” Jake laughed nervously.

Philip slowly approached the saboteur, Jake not moving away but looking up at him with slight distrust, tense and ready to book it.

He simply patted the survivor on his head.

“I am nnnnot E…van. Y…ou are g…ood ffffriend to Dwi…ight.” He smiled down warmly at Jake.

“Oh, uh, thanks I guess?”

At those words, the Wraith suddenly pulled Jake into a tight hug, causing him to shriek in surprise. He tried to squirm out, but Philip was having none of it, holding him close and purring in delight.

Dwight couldn’t help but laugh.

Maybe, maybe he didn’t need to leave the survivor camp to be given a hug, without shame. Not that he would never go out again, but now, he felt like he didn’t have to sneak out.

At least, now he knew for sure, that someone understood.

So with a smile stretching his cheeks, Dwight joined the embrace, doing his best to wrap his arms around the unusual duo. Their embrace broke and let him in, Jake no longer squirming, as their arms wrapping around him once more.

Dwight felt loved.


End file.
